Hey look, a Certified Pre-Hooned WRX

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 01/20/2014 at 17:21 • Filed to: ebay

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Direct quote of the listing:

"Subaru Certified, LOOK AT THE MILES ON THIS ONE!!!!, And Power moonroof. Braking power with backbone. Braking are quick to react. Take your hand off the mouse because this charming 2013 Subaru Impreza is the low-mileage car you've been hunting for. It is nicely equipped with features such as Subaru Certified, LOOK AT THE MILES ON THIS ONE!!!!, And Power moonroof. Subaru Certified Pre-Owned means you not only get the reassurance of up to a 7yr/100,000-Mile Powertrain Limited Warranty, but also a 152-point inspection/reconditioning, 24/7 roadside assistance, rental car benefits, and a complete CARFAX vehicle history report. This outstanding, one-owner Impreza, with grippy AWD, will handle anything mother nature decides to throw at you during one of her bad days at work.
Buyer responsible for Taxes (varies), Doc Fee ($250), Title/Registration ($33.50)
CALL OR TEXT
LI LUONG "

Didn't anybody tell him to hide the evidence of hooning? Did he drive through a snow bank?

Link

dogisbadob > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/20/2014 at 17:22

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Yay a sunroof!

A Self Loathing Mustang Guy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/20/2014 at 17:24

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LOOK AT THE MILES ON THIS THING

GO ON

JUST LOOK AT THEM

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > A Self Loathing Mustang Guy 01/20/2014 at 17:25

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JUST FUCKING LOOK MOTHERFUCKER!!!!

LeadfootYT > A Self Loathing Mustang Guy 01/20/2014 at 17:31

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MILES! WOULD'CHA LOOK'IT THAT! JUST LOOK AT IT!

LeadfootYT > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/20/2014 at 17:33

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A teacher at my school had an '06 STI that he drove for a while. Bought it in '07 or '08 from the first owner (a friend of his), who'd only put 6k on the car. Funny thing, he actually went to the guy's house with cash to buy a minivan, but he was told that the minivan was being kept as a daily - but that the STI was available.

A Self Loathing Mustang Guy > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/20/2014 at 17:54

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I SWEAR TO CHRIST, HYPOTHETICAL BUYER, YOU DON'T WANT TO FUCK WITH ME. IF YOU DON'T LOOK AT THESE FUCKING MILES YOU WILL WAKE UP IN A MOUNTAIN OF YOUR LOVED ONES' REMAINS AND CRY TEARS OF FUCKING BLOOD AS I SACRIFICE YOU TO THE OUTER GOD MH'ITHRHA WHILE YOU PRAY FOR THE SWEET EMBRACE OF DEATH AND THOSE LOW FUCKING MILES ALRIGHT SO SERIOUSLY CHECK THAT SHIT OUT BECAUSE THOSE MILES ARE FUCKING BALLER

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > A Self Loathing Mustang Guy 01/20/2014 at 18:03

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DON'T YOU THINK ABOUT NOT LOOKING AT THOSE MILES. BY NOT LOOKING AT THOSE MILES, YOU ARE ADMITTING TO BEING A PINKO COMMIE BASTARD, YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING PINKO COMMIE, ARE YOU??? WELL GO AHEAD PUNK, MAKE MY DAY!!1!!!

Alex Murel > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/20/2014 at 18:27

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I'm looking, but I don't understand what all the yelling is about.

Fuel_of_Satan > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/22/2014 at 08:24

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If you hoon in the snow and do it right, the entire rear end will be covered in with wheels being the only thing not covered. Particularly on a hatch or a wagon.

But you can't beat those miles, I even looked at them.